Personal Statement Take Two

So this is what my personal statement ended up being. There will probably be some changes to it, but this is the gist. Tell me what you think.

I sit down at a pottery wheel, a lump of clay in my hand, and set to work. The slippery mound slowly conforms to my steady hands and centers on the wheel, offering itself to me as a platform for creativity. I lean back and inquire of the clay, “What do you want to be?” My hands set to work, pulling, forming, shaping, creating something beautiful out of what was once mud. I see my life manifested in each stage of the clay. As a child I was awkward and reckless, not unlike the raw porcelain when it is first placed on the wheel. The school nurse came to know me quite well; since I was in there almost every day, after some accident or another whether it was a scraped knee or, once, a broken arm. I then grew and matured and centered under the steady hands of my family and friends. The majority of my friendships has been maintained from extremely early on in my life and has played a major roll in the person that I have become. One friend in particular has been with me ever since we were five years old. She and I support each other and contribute greatly to the other’s life. I cannot imagine a world without her. My family is my system of support. I tend to rely on those around me, but if something is needed of me, I step up to the task and carry out whatever the responsibility might be. My family and friends are the many tools used to shape, smooth, and trim the clay. Sometimes my walls are pulled too thin, coming close to a disaster. However, as the wheel keeps spinning the slumps become small, interesting additions to the piece. That is also where the creativity and flexibility come in. When a problem arises, I try to think everything through and then act on the solution that seems to best fit the situation. As I transition from high school to college it will be as if I’m cutting the piece from the wheel, trimming it, and preparing to become permanent. This is one of the most turbulent and confusing times in life. I am still trying to figure out who I am and who I want to be for the rest of my life. Through college I will be adding little details to an almost finished piece. Ideally, I will have reached that shape and design that I wish to be for years to come; which, by this time, the piece should be ready to fire and become an ever-lasting part of the world. The last two stages are glazing and the final firing of the piece. After this last step the piece is finished and can be used for a practical purpose as well as decorative. This is the kind of person I hope to evolve into: a strong person that contributes to those around her, as well as someone that others want around.